I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
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Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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