If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
