Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize