Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
