But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
