I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
