2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
