My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
