I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You left your underwear on the fireplace
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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