you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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