It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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