Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
