i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
