i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
third nipple confirmed
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
