It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
