roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
