I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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