you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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