he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Operation Purity has been aborted
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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