All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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