Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
