Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
