He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
