I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize