I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
