dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
