I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
