If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
