TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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