I accidentally had phone sex last night
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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