I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
