The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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