Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
