So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
