It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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