Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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