well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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