Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
