I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
