what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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