It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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