Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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