Life is so much better after having sex.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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