Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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