You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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