he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
