Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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