i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
