Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
