talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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