Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have post one night stand depression
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
