I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
