i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
