Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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