sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
