dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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