I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize