she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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