just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
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You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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