you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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