either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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