that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
