i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
