Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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