Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
