just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sober January is a disaster.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
