I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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