she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
